Reddit Writing Prompt #23: The Rise Of President Threkids

The year is 2024 and three children in a trench coat have taken office, but no one can tell that they are kids. –ThatFuzzySalmon

There’s something about this man, thought Secret Service Agent Jacob Miles, as he followed the newly-elected President of the United States through the halls of the White House. Something… different.

President Threkids was a tall man, with the boyish face of a twelve-year-old, with a thick handlebar mustache growing on his upper lip that had the strange tendency to slip to the side every so often. He walked with a strange gait, as if he had incredibly short legs. That might have explained why he always wore that trench coat: he was embarrassed about his strange deformity, and so he hid it from the world.

He had taken the country by storm, though nobody knew precisely where he had come from. His first public appearance was in a political debate between candidates for the office of the Mayor, which was hosted in a small movie theater because the usual venue was being fumigated. Threkids had walked into the theater, his confident waddle making it clear where he belonged, even if he looked a bit confused.

The man exuded charisma, and was talked into participating in the debate. Threkids was a humble man, repeatedly stating that he was only here to watch the reboot of “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”, and that he was most definitely an adult, yes.

His rise was meteoric and unprecedented. After the debate, a very confused Threkids won the mayoral election by a landslide, and when the Senate elections came up, he was convinced to run for the seat. His victory was unexpected, and the next step was even more so, when he was asked by an up-and-coming senator to run on the ticket as his vice-president. Visibly sweating, obviously made nervous by the honor, he accepted.

They won, but tragedy struck two weeks after the inauguration, when the President was killed in a car crash. Vice-President Threkids was instated as President Threkids, and the new development obviously made him even more nervous.

“We can’t keep doing this,” Agent Miles heard the great man mutter to himself. “This is getting really out of hand.”

“It was your idea!” hissed his ribcage; President Threkids was a skilled ventriloquist, and could make it sound like there were two other people with him beneath the trench coat. Ridiculous, but amusing.

“We didn’t even get to see the movie,” grumbled the President’s crotch.

“Hey, I just got an idea,” his midsection whispered. “What if we abolished the movie rating system entirely? We’re president, we can do that. I think.”

“I think we should undo the weak foreign policy decisions of our predecessor, and work towards achieving global hedgey-moaney.”

“What’s that mean?”

“I dunno. My dad says it all the time.”

“Okay, we’ll look up what ‘hedgey-moaney’ means after the movie rating thing. Deal?”



“Hey, should we really be talking about this with the secret service guy standing right there?”

“Nah, it’s fine, they’re like those British guys with the fuzzy hats. They’re not allowed to talk.”

“That is correct, sir,” Agent Miles said.

“See? Told you.”

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